a few more

You know, I tried to keep my list of holiday recommendations fairly short yesterday, so I didn't spend very long on it. And of course, while I was trying to think of books, they didn't really come to me, and now that I'm trying to work on other stuff, random books keep popping into my head.

So this is an addendum to my earlier list. Just a couple more books that I think are worth examining. Enjoy.

Skipped Parts
By Tim Sandlin
--It's hard to describe this book because Sandlin puts together such an absurd cast of characters and storylines. But he manages to make it crazy enough that it's believable.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay
By Michael Chabon
--To be honest, it's been too long since I read this for me to write a two-line blurb on it, but I do remember that I really, really liked it. It's got some comic book stuff in it, too. And Nazis.

law school

It's official:

I'm going to law school.

I got my first (and hopefully, not last) Letter of Acceptance yesterday. The University of San Diego "is pleased to offer me admission into its law school." And even though USD isn't one of my top choices, it's still a pretty great feeling knowing that I have at least one option now.

Now I get to sit back and wait for more responses. Hopefully, the rest are as pleasant as the first.

holiday down time

Because I'm such a fan of lists, and because I haven't posted any recommendations or lists in a while, I'm going to do everyone a favor and post a list of books and movies for people with a little more free time than usual over the holidays. This is an extremely random collection; in fact, I hadn't thought about what I would include until I came up with the idea to make the list about 53 seconds ago. That's my disclaimer.

But since we all might have some time over the next week or two that we wouldn't normally have, here are some ways to take a break from the family.

Books

The Martian Chronicles & Something Wicked This Way Comes
By Ray Bradbury
--Both books are great, but Martian Chronicles is easier to read a little at a time.

Chronicle of A Death Foretold
By Gabriel Garcia Marquez
--It's less than 100 pages long, so it's a very quick read. A good intro to his work, though.

A Game of Thrones
George R.R. Martin
--If you can get past the fact that this is "fantasy," it will blow your mind. The first volume of what's shaping up to be one of the best works of epic storytelling ever. Ever.

Tortilla Flat
John Steinbeck
--Hilarious accounts of Steinbeck's paisanos. Will make you want to drink cheap boxed wine (if you're not already doing so)

The Eyre Affair
By Jasper Fforde
--A fun, light-hearted book. Kind of like Harry Potter for book-loving adults.

American Gods
By Neil Gaiman
--The only book of his that I've read, but it's worth every bit of praise it's received. An interesting look at what happens to religion when it becomes mythology.

Movies

I don't feel like writing little explanations for all these, so you can check them out for yourself. I love all these movies though, and I think they are all worth a look. Enjoy.

Ed TV

Kung Fu Hustle

A Christmas Story

Nueve Reinas (Nine Queens)

Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story

Total Recall

pass the chronic(WHAT?)

If you didn't catch Saturday Night Live this last Saturday, then you missed their funniest skit in years.

Check out this amazing Chronicles of Narnia rap video.

the one that got away

Normally, I wouldn't recommend anything that John Canzano wrote as worth reading. I usually find his stuff to be annoying and off the mark, which might be what he intends. But in this case, his article in the Oregonian was pretty much spot on.

Mike Riley is a decent coach. At best. He will continue to give us 6-5 seasons, 7-4 seasons, with the occasional 8-4 mixed in. But that's it. He'll never take OSU football to the next level. But someone like Dan Hawkins could have done that for our program, and unfortunately, we're now watching him head to Colorado. We had one of the best coaches in the country working in our backyard, and we let him slip away. And while he's in Boulder, working wonders with their offense, we'll be watching Riley call for 2 yard dives up the middle play after play.

Sweet.

Chuck Norris isn't human

Here are a few things about Chuck Norris that you may not know. I can't claim credit for this list; I've merely compiled it. I encourage you all to share any other stories or facts about Chuck that are not already included here. I've highlighted a few of my personal favorites.

If you think the following statements are ridiculous or untrue, you're wrong. And if Chuck Norris isn't already your hero, he should be.


Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.

Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck Norris ate 12 Asian babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. All three later died of roundhouse kick related wounds.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the **** out of little kids.

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.

Chuck Norris has every copy of National Geographic in his basement. He also has the ability to lift every single one of them at once.

Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.

Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and **** on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn't a racist.

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the **** out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paperclips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

what a guy

Am I the only one who thinks Philip Roth takes himself a little too seriously?

I've never read any of his stuff, but this interview doesn't exactly make me want to rush out and buy his books. I know he's a Great Writer and all, but . . . how do you spell "douche"?

new kid on the block

A new site went up recently that's pretty cool. It's basically a blog on blogs, if that makes any sense. Metaxu Cafe focuses on literary blogs, or any blogs about books or related subjects, and provides a daily selection of quotes, topics, highlights and excerpts from the 100+ blogs that are affiliated with it. It's pretty comprehensive, and it works really well for those of us that don't have the time to check 30-odd sites a day to see what's out there in the book world.

In fact, in an effort to remind myself that I started this blog with the intention of providing the occasional book review, recommendation, etc., I even applied to have my blog registered on their list. Of course, they may very well deny it on the grounds that I wrote an analysis of Risk versus Stratego, but hey...whatcha gonna do?

Maybe I'll start writing about books again. I just finished A Feast for Crows, so that might be my next topic. We'll see.

does Z-Bo gotta go?

I hate to even start down this path, but maybe the time has come to ask the question: do the Blazers need to get rid of Zach Randolph?

We all know that he's got loads of talent. When he wants to, he can dominate a game from inside and out. He's always had great hands around the basket, and this season he's shown an increased ability to knock down jumpers from outside the paint. And though the Oregonian's Jason Quick wonders if his newfound love of the jumper is the problem, I think it's something else. It's his attitude.

We had this same problem with Sheed just a few years back. When he wanted to, he could post up guys down low and kill anyone that tried to guard him. The problem was that he rarely tried to go into the paint and dominate. He wanted to float out around the three point line and take jumpers. No amount of coaxing or cajoling from Dunleavy, Cheeks, or anyone else could make him do something he didn't want to do.

Randolph is the same way. He won't listen to his coach. He wouldn't listen to Cheeks, and now he's not listening to McMillan. He's not playing to win, or to help the team. He's playing to get his numbers, and right now, the easiest way for him to do that is to set up shop outside the key and take jumpers. And once again, the problem stems from his attitude. He's not willing to fight for position and points down low because he doesn't have to. He got his max contract. Why work so hard now, especially with a suspect knee?

I think his response to the question of whether he wants to be in Portland says it all:

"They pay me a lotta money."

The real question is:

Should we?

already missing Mike Hass

It's going to be a sad day when the Beavers take the field next year without Mike Hass. He went from walk-on to All-American, and in the process, rewrote the OSU record books. I couldn't be happier that he was recognized for his achievements with a spot on the AP All-American 1st Team and with the Blietnikoff Award, and it's going to be impossible to replace him.

I can't wait to see him succeed at the next level. Maybe Cincy can grab him and he can join the rest of the Oregon State Bengals.

america's world cup chances

ESPN's Soccernet has a really good article by Ives Galarcep (no, I don't have any idea where that name is from, either) about the opportunity that the U.S. soccer team has in the upcoming World Cup. He makes a lot of good points that many of our so-called soccer analysts have missed.

Although they the U.S. did land in a brutal group, I think there are some advantages to playing such tough competition early on. First, everyone is downplaying their chances to advance to the second round, and now they can play the underdog card. Second, it's better to go up against strong teams and be tested, and possibly fail to advance, than to play in a weak group and fall flat on their faces because they were overconfident. I would rather see our team get knocked out of the tournament by the likes of Italy or the Czechs than see us fail to take advantage of a group with Angola or Iran (*cough*mexico*cough*). Also, if we really want to win the World Cup or be taken seriously internationally, we have to beat the best the rest of the world has to offer. Playing top-flight teams like Italy and (dare we hope?) Brazil will show us how far we've come, or how far we have yet to go.

The world futbol community may not want to admit it, but the U.S. national team is a far cry from the team that finished dead last in the 1998 World Cup. Our team has taken advantage of the vast resources and talent that this country has to offer, and it's time for traditional soccer superpowers like Italy to find out about our improvement the hard way.

world cup draw

It's official, folks...the World Cup is ready to go!!!

For those who didn't have the pleasure of following it live, you can check out the results of the 2006 FIFA World Cup draw here. ESPN also has a cool printable version.

It looks like there are two possible "Groups of Death" this time around. The U.S.A got a brutal draw, and is stuck with Italy, the Czech Republic and Ghana in Group E. All three of those teams are capable of handling the Americans, and we'll have to be both good AND lucky to make it out of the group stage. Unfortunately, a second place finish in our group (which we would be lucky to grab) would most likely see us come up against Brazil. Ouch.

The other Group of Death has to be Group C. Argentina, Netherlands, Ivory Coast and Serbia & Montenegro all face off in the first round. Argentina and the Dutch are both good enough to come out of their group and go far, but they have a very tough group, probably the toughest all-around in the tournament. The winner of the group will have it a little easier once past the group stage, though, as they'll likely face either Mexico or Portugal. Both are good teams, but not overly intimidating. Argentina should be pretty motivated to avoid another first-round exit, and I think they'll make it into the round of 16. It's very possible that they don't win the group, but even if they finish second, I don't think Mexico or Portugal will stop them. They've already beaten Mexico once this year, albeit in a close-fought game decided by penalty kicks, and they have too much talent for Portugal.

On the other side of the bracket, Brazil managed to come away with a pretty easy draw once again. They should have little trouble dispatching Croatia, Japan or Australia, and they might only be slowed down by a potential meeting with Italy in the second or third round. Though it would be pretty amazing if the U.S. managed to take down the champs in the second round!

Of all the seeded teams, Germany and France got easily the weakest first round competition. If either team fails to make it to the second round, it will be a huge disappointment. Spain should also be able to handle their group with little trouble, as only Ukraine should pose a real challenge to them.

It looks like a pretty tough tournament for my two favorites, America and Argentina, but there's definitely a chance for both. I'm pulling hard for anyone to knock off the Brazilians, and nothing would be sweeter than having the boys from the U, S and A take care of them early on, unless it was Argentina beating them in the final!

The hardest part now is waiting until June.

Oh well...it's just that much more time to prepare.