Mark Cuban 9, Phil Jackson 1

You might think that slavery is illegal in the United States nowadays. Not according to Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks. Check out the following excerpt from his blog:

"I own Phil Jackson. Not literally of course. That thrill belongs to the smartest businesswoman in professional sports, Jeannie Buss. Figuratively however, the coach formerly known as the Zen Master must now be considered my bucket boy.

This wasn't an acquisition I proactively pursued. There wasn't an official competition that I won, thereby confirming my dominance of his psyche. Instead Phil has initiated an ongoing commentary about me that started in his previous stint with the Lakers and was reinstated this year with his return, that proves I own the guy.

For whatever reason, I have gotten to Phil so completely and thoroughly that every time he comes to Dallas he has to offer unsolicited comments about me to the media. I wonder if he dreams about me the nights he spends here in Dallas. Ok, I don't wonder. I'm curious about it.

How can the NBA coach with so many championship rings find me so intimidating? I really don't know, but he said as much in December when he called me an 'intimidating force' to the LA Times:

'Consider a place like Dallas, where the owner runs around, pumps up the volume, intimidates the referees and ... has announcers as hired cheerleaders, which is an intimidating force.'

Then of course last night he again took the initiative to comment to the media about how I am such a presence in the NBA that I turn the officials into 'nervous nellies.' Implying that I can have more influence on the outcome of a game than his coaching skills. I wish. But if Phil wants to this so, I'm fine with that. That's what happens when you own someone, they can't get you out of their head, and they don't often think, speak or act rationally.

I guess Phil was so overwhelmed that it caused him to take back-to-back delay of game penalties and the technical foul that comes with it, rather than send his team out to the court at the conclusion of a timeout in the 4th quarter. "

Awesome.